Where's The One For Me?

[ad lib dialogue]

I met her at a discotheque
And I thought, like, she was, like, a pain in the neck
But then I was quite flattered to have her arms around me
I made my move because she seemed quite keen
I said, "I really pack a punch in these jeans"
She said, "Oh my God!" and went off home without me

And she said, "Always you will only sit there looking lonely
At the edge of the room and solo, keep sucking on that Polo
Thinking where's the one, where's the one, where is the one for me?"

[ad lib dialogue]

I met this plump-faced cockney girl
And she had cheekbones that were out of this world
But she'd never even heard of Greater London
I said, "Oh my Lord, you're a stupid tart"
She said, "Well, if it's like that, you're a boring fart
"You might think you're it, but you're just an ugly bastard"

And she said, "Always you will only sit there looking lonely
At the edge of the room and solo, keep sucking on that Polo
Thinking where's the one, where's the one, where is the one for me?"

[ad lib dialogue]

Well I strutted around, you know, trying to look cool
And this tiny girl she said, "You look like a fool
"Don't try so hard, you know, you always seem so desperate"
Well I looked at her like a loaded gun
I said, "Your mouth is a disproportionate one
"I know you're hung up about being small, but there's no need to be catty"

And she said, "Always you will only sit there looking lonely
At the edge of the room and solo, keep sucking on that Polo
Thinking where's the one, where's the one, where is the one for me?"